Image via doug88888.
We’ve all been through it. You lend money to your brother from your another mother, and you never get it back. You subtly request for the return in a series of “Hey bro, you remember during lunch last week…” and what not, but he shrugs it off with a couple of “No money in my wallet now” or “Wallet not with me now, will return you later, bro” punctuated with a bunch of high fives and attaboys. Well, I hate it. I don’t really mind lending money to friends, but not getting it back and worst, them conveniently forgetting about it, is just plain disrespect. Here are some of my personal rules when it comes to generosities with the homies.
When you lend money, don’t expect it back
Ask for it, but be prepared to never get it back. When it comes to money, your life-long friendship don’t mean squat. Money talks, and it talks you out of a friendship. Don’t give yourself a chance to be devastated. Read this article for more on the point.
Give only what you are comfortable with
This is pretty obvious. Don’t lend any amount you can’t afford to, or you are not comfortable with. Make sure you’ve got excess to let go. In other words, don’t lend what you can’t afford to lose. I would say a fair equation to determine how much to lend would be digits in the money lent = the number of years you know the person divided by 2
Learn how to say no
Don’t be afraid to say no. I say no all the time, and if it’s a real friend, he would understand. If your friend gets petty about your refusal, then he’s probably not worth it anyway. It’s never their right to borrow money from you, however meager the amount is.
Don’t ever drag a third party into it
Some of you might think this is a good idea, but it isn’t. The last thing anyone wants, is to be part of a scheme to get your money back. It’s not their money therefore it doesn’t involve them, so don’t go there. Otherwise, its going to be more than money you lose.
When you know you aren’t going to get your money back, move on
If you do a Google search on “Tips on lending money”, you’ll find many articles telling you to put your loan into a written agreement. Apart from the fact it’s totally awkward socially to request for one, it makes you seem cheap and calculative. No matter how much you want your money back, you’ve got to maintain an image of a gentlemen, even if you feel like strangling the culprit with your bare hands. Don’t harp on it. You lend it, and as I’ve mentioned in rule one, expect not to get it back. If you need to severe a friendship or not lend that person a single cent ever again to get pass it, go ahead. But, move on.
Be flexible and generous
If you can afford to be generous and give the person a treat, the effects of your kindness will come back to you. However, it’s important that you don’t do this to habitual money lenders. Don’t be a pushover if you don’t want history to repeat itself.
Gain moral high ground
It is my personal endeavor never to borrow money from people. And if I do for cases where I have no money on my body, I will return it on the day itself. When people know how you are like, it’s more likely that they expect the same kind of attitude from themselves.
Read
Last but definitely not least, is to read the person whose asking you for a loan. You know there are some people whom you can never expect your money back from. Those people come very blatantly, with a phone call or Facebook message asking how you are which is immediately followed by a loan request. C’mon, at least wait for my reply. It’s your choice to not be a sucker. Don’t be suckered into the bro trap because of peer pressure. I have friends who I wouldn’t mind lending thousands of dollars to, because I just know that they will return it to me by hook or by crook, without me having to do anything to remind them. These are friends you should keep.
