Mary Ng Kui Yin, 1920-2011
When I came home at 10pm last night from another endless grind, my father informed me that my grandmother, or “Ma ma” as my sister and I have been calling for her all our lives, has stopped breathing and the doctors at the hospital are trying to revive her. It wasn’t long before we received confirmation that our last surviving grandparent had passed away, at a ripe age of 91 years.
My grandmother was born Ng Kui Yin, or Mary as I’ve known her as. I’ve called her Mama for all my life. She’s the second wife of my grandfather, back in the days when polygamy was accepted. She speaks English, Chinese Malay, but talks to me mainly in Hokkien and only uses English when I didn’t understand. When I was younger, I would cringe at her binded feet, which looked horribly painful. It must be tough being a woman in those days. You gotta share your man and crush your toes in the name of vanity. She has a really crude sense of humour, the exact kind you’d expect your grandmother should have. I remembered majority of my childhood would be spent at her Buona Vista home, where I would play with my cousins’ toys when I was bored, sleep on her double decker bed when I got tired and eat her awesome cooking when I was hungry.
The legacy of her life at her 90th birthday.
She was staunch Christian lady, never misses saying grace, and often tells my sister and I how much she would pray for us. She was genuinely happy when she heard I started attending church, and I didn’t have the heart to tell her when I stopped going, but I could tell she knew anyway. She would also make it a point to give us some money every time we visit, even though when we didn’t need it anymore.
I’ve only ever had the chance to meet two of my grandparents. My grandfather on my maternal side passed away when I was in primary school, so my grandmother (on my paternal side) was the only living grandparent I had for a long time. When my grandfather passed away, I could feel my maternal family grow slightly apart even though we would make it a point to meet every once in a while. One could say that grandparents are the root that keeps the family together. As such, I was close to my grandmother, but have reduced the amount of visits over the past couple of months due to work. Just last weekend I was supposed to visit her with my family, but couldn’t because I had to go back to work. I’m not the type to regret something after it’s too late, but a part of me wished I had spent more time with her.
For close friends who wish pay their respects, the wake will be over the next couple of days. Location details are below.
